Record Breakers

(This is from the 20th August)

This has been a record breaking week for my diet. I consumed the most amount of calories in a day since my diet started, get Roy Castle on the phone.

The boss took us away to London for the weekend where he selfishly wined and dined us without considering my diet. A pre-packaged BLT and a bag of peanuts on the train down set the diet-free tone for the day.

Instead of my usual salad, I had a three-course lunch while cruising down the Thames. After a bottle of wine, I regaled my colleagues with tales of my heroic struggle against calories between mouthfuls of chocolate brownie, while trying to ignore their incredulous glazed eyes.

We then hopped on the London eye. I'm sure my stomach was intent on punishing the lunch-time extravagance by trying to lay my lunch out in front of me, like the Gillian McKeith of the gastrointestinal world, while I stand there humiliated promising to do better. I managed to keep my lunch down and swiftly exited at the first available moment. A sightseeing walk was in order to burn off those extra calories.

That evening another record was broken, I had what seemed like the world's smallest lasagne in Covent Garden. We drank more wine as we dined Al Fresco listening to a busker bash out what my drunken ears judged to be a perfect rendition of Pink Floyd's Wish you were here before heading back to the hotel for some late night, alcohol-fueled action with an old-flame from the pre-diet days, a Doner Kebab.

With last weeks bag of doughnuts and this 4442 calorie day out, this column reads more like Elvis Presley's post mortem report than a diet diary. This latest splurge has helped kick the diet out of it's recent malaise though, I'm back on the salad and been to the gym 3 times this week already. I've not assessed the damage yet as I haven't brought myself to replace my broken scales, I hope I haven't broken a weight-gain record.