This is the story of how my diet died. In the past when diets have failed, I haven't just woken up one morning and decided to give up. It's normally one of two things. The first is an event when the diet is pushed aside for the night, such as works night out, a wedding or christmas party. This would lead to other nights off shortly after eventually leading to having every night off. The other is a slow unravelling of the diet where I'm still eating the right meals but I gradually start snacking more and more in-between meals until I'm eating so much I can no longer say i'm on a diet.
I've been affected by both of these. After my wife's birthday party I spent the week picking bits of the leftover cake and buffet. When that ran out it was anything I could find in the cupboard, baby biscuits, curry paste, hot sauce, anything I could put on my tongue and taste. I had started putting on weight again. Shortly after, I went to a christening, rammed the buffet down my throat without any thought to my diet. It was then I realised that my diet had ended.
As I left the reception a cold wind blew against me and I pulled my suit jacket together to shield me. This suit gets worn 2-3 times per year for Christenings, Funerals and Weddings. The last time I had worn it was for my youngest son, Andrew's, baptism earlier this year. When I pulled the jacket together it wrapped right around me. There have been times when I have grown too fat for this suit but now it was too big for me. I was on the verge of giving up but now I could see how much weight I'd lost. The signs to say my diet had failed were all there, but I didn't have to accept this was the end. I had to start again, properly this time.
The next morning my diet was reborn, and today five days later I've already lost 4 pounds.
Thursday, 29 October 2009
Friday, 23 October 2009
Not my fault
Another week passes and I've put on 2 pounds, what's that all about? There's got to be some sort of conspiracy against me losing weight. Perhaps the shops that sell clothes for larger men are feeling the effects of losing my business and have got together to ruin my diet, I wouldn't put it past them.
I think they've been going around subsidising all the high-calorie food in the supermarkets as there seems to be bargains everywhere at the moment, mainly on cakes, puddings, sausages and bacon. I'm a sucker for a bargain, if it's half-price, I'll have it. Even if something's of no use, I'll get it anyway just in case. It always ends up in the cupboard alongside the betamax video-recorder I bought last year.
I spotted some pots au chocolat at half-price, they weren't just any pots au chocolat, they were... well you know the rest. I picked them up hoping that they were 50 calories each; unfortunately they were more like 400. I gestured to put it back hoping that my wife would come up with an excuse to keep them; she reminded me what a bargain they were and they went straight back in the trolley, so it's her fault not mine.
I've started to pick at food again. My success so far has been sticking to meals and having nothing in between. There's been leftover Birthday cake lying around the house this week taunting me, I'm always finding excuses to walk past so I can pick off a bit more icing.
When things haven't turned out as I'd like them to, I tend to feel that it wasn't my fault, after-all, I tried hard to make it go right. When I think about it though, i notice that I'm shifting the blame, it's not my wife's fault and there isn't a conspiracy against me; I'm making the errors, I need to learn from them or I'll never lose the weight.
I think they've been going around subsidising all the high-calorie food in the supermarkets as there seems to be bargains everywhere at the moment, mainly on cakes, puddings, sausages and bacon. I'm a sucker for a bargain, if it's half-price, I'll have it. Even if something's of no use, I'll get it anyway just in case. It always ends up in the cupboard alongside the betamax video-recorder I bought last year.
I spotted some pots au chocolat at half-price, they weren't just any pots au chocolat, they were... well you know the rest. I picked them up hoping that they were 50 calories each; unfortunately they were more like 400. I gestured to put it back hoping that my wife would come up with an excuse to keep them; she reminded me what a bargain they were and they went straight back in the trolley, so it's her fault not mine.
I've started to pick at food again. My success so far has been sticking to meals and having nothing in between. There's been leftover Birthday cake lying around the house this week taunting me, I'm always finding excuses to walk past so I can pick off a bit more icing.
When things haven't turned out as I'd like them to, I tend to feel that it wasn't my fault, after-all, I tried hard to make it go right. When I think about it though, i notice that I'm shifting the blame, it's not my wife's fault and there isn't a conspiracy against me; I'm making the errors, I need to learn from them or I'll never lose the weight.
Friday, 16 October 2009
You're being watched!
I haven't lost anything this week, I hate it when that happens. It's a real de-motivator, putting in all the effort for no benefit. I've even had an illness to help me. Losing weight used to be the best part of being ill, well, second best after time off work, but no, nothing, I should have taken the medicine after all.
I suppose the reason is that I spent a lot of time sat around or in bed not getting any exercise. I missed karate and haven't been to the gym. I've been avoiding the gym anyway, one of the instructors found out about this blog and has decided to help me out with my diet. He asked when I was next in and said he'd get me doing some circuits with him. Great, I said, and haven't been back since. I'm going to have to find out his shift patterns and avoid him, or I could plant something incriminating in his locker so he gets the sack and I can start going back again.
It seems quite a few people read these diet diaries, and those people always seem to be around when I'm about to eat something. We had a party for my wife's 30th Birthday. I took on my usual duty of being first to the buffet, and almost straight-away the words "I'm watching you!" thundered accross the room, as I looked round I was confronted by one of my wife's friends laughing away telling me she'd seen me in the paper. I sat down with my plate and just as I went to have my first mouthful another voice shouted, "I hope that's all you're having!". If everyone carried out their threats, the Herald mailbag will be full this week. I'm going to have to open my version of the 19th century opium dens; a calorie den for the overweight of Tamworth. As the night passed, my cares evaporated with my sobriety. And now as the night's memories rematerialise, I realise why I didn't lose anything this week.
I suppose the reason is that I spent a lot of time sat around or in bed not getting any exercise. I missed karate and haven't been to the gym. I've been avoiding the gym anyway, one of the instructors found out about this blog and has decided to help me out with my diet. He asked when I was next in and said he'd get me doing some circuits with him. Great, I said, and haven't been back since. I'm going to have to find out his shift patterns and avoid him, or I could plant something incriminating in his locker so he gets the sack and I can start going back again.
It seems quite a few people read these diet diaries, and those people always seem to be around when I'm about to eat something. We had a party for my wife's 30th Birthday. I took on my usual duty of being first to the buffet, and almost straight-away the words "I'm watching you!" thundered accross the room, as I looked round I was confronted by one of my wife's friends laughing away telling me she'd seen me in the paper. I sat down with my plate and just as I went to have my first mouthful another voice shouted, "I hope that's all you're having!". If everyone carried out their threats, the Herald mailbag will be full this week. I'm going to have to open my version of the 19th century opium dens; a calorie den for the overweight of Tamworth. As the night passed, my cares evaporated with my sobriety. And now as the night's memories rematerialise, I realise why I didn't lose anything this week.
Monday, 12 October 2009
Not so great expectations
From 8th October
I've just about shifted the half-stone I added to my bulk on holiday. It's good to know my efforts are still having the desired benefit but 4 months in, I've got a more realisitic outlook on my weightloss prospects than before.
My wife showed me one of those reality TV programmes that make a big thing about how you should be happy with the way you are and then spend the rest of the programme changing the contestants into something else; "love your curves, now let's get rid of them!". A bloke a little bigger than me lost 10 stone in 3 months and looked really good, it was this that inspired me to start dieting this time.
I should've been mindful that the TV world isn't real, he'd have been given a lot of training and support, all I get is an occasional email from the Herald editor saying "stop stuffing your ******* face!" (not really). I saw a pair of jeans in a sale that were about 8 inches too small for me and I almost bought them thinking it would be only 3 months until I fitted into them.
I got carried away thinking about how my life would change; I imagined my meeting with the Queen as she knighted me for my weightloss achievements, I thought about what recipe I would give her in return, would it be my Lamb Biryani or Roast Chicken Ratatouille? I would get back to my country mansion, paid for by the range of diet foods I would release with my stupid grinning thin face on the label, and put the medal on the fireplace next to my United Nations slimmer of the year award. I was disappointed when I realised that this wasn't very realistic.
I am now well aware and reasonably happy that it's going to take a little longer than I'd anticipated, anyway, by the time I reach my goal I should have more recipes to consider offering the Queen.
I've just about shifted the half-stone I added to my bulk on holiday. It's good to know my efforts are still having the desired benefit but 4 months in, I've got a more realisitic outlook on my weightloss prospects than before.
My wife showed me one of those reality TV programmes that make a big thing about how you should be happy with the way you are and then spend the rest of the programme changing the contestants into something else; "love your curves, now let's get rid of them!". A bloke a little bigger than me lost 10 stone in 3 months and looked really good, it was this that inspired me to start dieting this time.
I should've been mindful that the TV world isn't real, he'd have been given a lot of training and support, all I get is an occasional email from the Herald editor saying "stop stuffing your ******* face!" (not really). I saw a pair of jeans in a sale that were about 8 inches too small for me and I almost bought them thinking it would be only 3 months until I fitted into them.
I got carried away thinking about how my life would change; I imagined my meeting with the Queen as she knighted me for my weightloss achievements, I thought about what recipe I would give her in return, would it be my Lamb Biryani or Roast Chicken Ratatouille? I would get back to my country mansion, paid for by the range of diet foods I would release with my stupid grinning thin face on the label, and put the medal on the fireplace next to my United Nations slimmer of the year award. I was disappointed when I realised that this wasn't very realistic.
I am now well aware and reasonably happy that it's going to take a little longer than I'd anticipated, anyway, by the time I reach my goal I should have more recipes to consider offering the Queen.
Going out
From 1st October
Going out while watching the calories is a pain as you always feel you must either go for the salad or give the diet a night off. I like to go out for dinner a couple of times a week so these options aren't any good for me. There is a third way, all it needs is a bit of planning.
Most of the bigger chain restaurants print the calorie content of their meals online. I do realise that the chains aren't the most desirable of dinner destinations but they do have the advantage of guaranteed-mediocrity; you'll never get that fantastic meal you have to tell everyone about, but you know it won't be terrible and that's a big plus when you're with fussy eaters.
Before I go I always have a good look at the nutritional values on the menu and see what I can have. Surprisingly, you can have most things on most menus on their own but when you start adding starters and desserts you're in trouble. On the day I will make sure I leave enough spare calories to have what I want, I may skip breakfast or have a small lunch.
This week I went to a Pizza restaurant, I went for thin crust, less meat and cheese toppings, and more veg. I had a proscuitto and rocket pizza that had 900 calories, a chicken wing starter with 350, and no pudding, so 1250 in total. My daily limit is 2050 leaving me with 800 for breakfast and lunch, easy.
I also went to a carvery, I had gammon and loads of veg, easy on the roast potatoes and gravy. No more than 500 calories. Ice cream sundae for pudding, 400 calories. 900 in total so 1100 for breakfast and lunch, I could have had a starter as well.
It's quite easy with a bit of planning, it's when you go in blind and start having to choose between what you perceive as good and bad foods that it falls apart.
Going out while watching the calories is a pain as you always feel you must either go for the salad or give the diet a night off. I like to go out for dinner a couple of times a week so these options aren't any good for me. There is a third way, all it needs is a bit of planning.
Most of the bigger chain restaurants print the calorie content of their meals online. I do realise that the chains aren't the most desirable of dinner destinations but they do have the advantage of guaranteed-mediocrity; you'll never get that fantastic meal you have to tell everyone about, but you know it won't be terrible and that's a big plus when you're with fussy eaters.
Before I go I always have a good look at the nutritional values on the menu and see what I can have. Surprisingly, you can have most things on most menus on their own but when you start adding starters and desserts you're in trouble. On the day I will make sure I leave enough spare calories to have what I want, I may skip breakfast or have a small lunch.
This week I went to a Pizza restaurant, I went for thin crust, less meat and cheese toppings, and more veg. I had a proscuitto and rocket pizza that had 900 calories, a chicken wing starter with 350, and no pudding, so 1250 in total. My daily limit is 2050 leaving me with 800 for breakfast and lunch, easy.
I also went to a carvery, I had gammon and loads of veg, easy on the roast potatoes and gravy. No more than 500 calories. Ice cream sundae for pudding, 400 calories. 900 in total so 1100 for breakfast and lunch, I could have had a starter as well.
It's quite easy with a bit of planning, it's when you go in blind and start having to choose between what you perceive as good and bad foods that it falls apart.
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