Not so great expectations

From 8th October

I've just about shifted the half-stone I added to my bulk on holiday. It's good to know my efforts are still having the desired benefit but 4 months in, I've got a more realisitic outlook on my weightloss prospects than before.

My wife showed me one of those reality TV programmes that make a big thing about how you should be happy with the way you are and then spend the rest of the programme changing the contestants into something else; "love your curves, now let's get rid of them!". A bloke a little bigger than me lost 10 stone in 3 months and looked really good, it was this that inspired me to start dieting this time.

I should've been mindful that the TV world isn't real, he'd have been given a lot of training and support, all I get is an occasional email from the Herald editor saying "stop stuffing your ******* face!" (not really). I saw a pair of jeans in a sale that were about 8 inches too small for me and I almost bought them thinking it would be only 3 months until I fitted into them.

I got carried away thinking about how my life would change; I imagined my meeting with the Queen as she knighted me for my weightloss achievements, I thought about what recipe I would give her in return, would it be my Lamb Biryani or Roast Chicken Ratatouille? I would get back to my country mansion, paid for by the range of diet foods I would release with my stupid grinning thin face on the label, and put the medal on the fireplace next to my United Nations slimmer of the year award. I was disappointed when I realised that this wasn't very realistic.

I am now well aware and reasonably happy that it's going to take a little longer than I'd anticipated, anyway, by the time I reach my goal I should have more recipes to consider offering the Queen.